Dr. Ruth Nemzoff
Raising civilised and effective public speakers
Q: I’ve recently attended several B’nai Mitzvot in both synagogues and Jewish day schools and I am struck by the poor delivery of some of the 7th and 8th graders’ speeches. The child can barely be heard as they look down at the paper and not at the audience and do not even hold the microphone properly. It seems to me that while these Jewish Educational Institutions are doing a wonderful job helping the students learn to read Torah and comment on it with a well thought out “drash”, they are not preparing the children to deliver that commentary in an effective way. Furthermore, while it may not be the school’s responsibility to teach manners, I wonder if there might be a discussion with the parents in the pre-Bnai Mitzvah sessions about the kinds of behaviours that are appropriate and to be expected as the kids attend these events.
A: I understand what you are saying. Not of us are natural born public speakers., but we can learn some techniques so that the excellent job of reading the Torah and its interpretation are heard and are comprehensible to all. No mumbling, so rushing through the verbiage without looking up at the audience. There is often such an intense focus on getting the Hebrew right that no one has worked with them on how to deliver a speech in an engaging manner.
Good persuasive speakers are not born; they have learned to speak well. Even shy people can learn to be good orators. It’s entirely possible that the teachers do not have the skills or the time to teach good public speaking. Here is where the community comes in. Perhaps there is a member of the congregation who is an excellent speaker such as an actor or a litigator who can come into class and give pointers on how to properly deliver a speech by offering such tips as: pause periodically and make eye contact with your audience; speak slowly and clearly so your words don’t run together and the people in the back have time to process; don’t start your speech until you are comfortable and the audience is attentive. If you cannot find someone available during school time, perhaps you can do this at a parent meeting in the evening and then encourage the parents to work with their children. The parents can be encouraged to find someone in their circle, whether it is another relative or a friend, to work with the child. Another tool that families can use is to watch speakers on TV such as those who deliver the news or a debate. The movie The Princess Diaries has a great example of a young woman whose speaking skills evolve. As they watch various speakers, discuss with the soon to be B-mitzvah what they notice that seems effective, what makes them want to listen and what makes them want to hear more. The most important thing that families and teachers can do is to help the child practice over and over with feedback so that the child gets comfortable with the speech and works on implementing the necessary speaking skills. Giving a good speech is an important skill in life.