Q Is there room for our children in the Jewish community? Is our tent big enough for those of our children with good Jewish educations, and many Jewish experiences who feel passionately that Israel used too much force in the Gaza War? Is there room for those who are horrified at the way some settlers are treating Arab residents in the West Bank?
This question was posed by Beth (Missie) Polasky, amember and regular worshiper at a minyan in Newton, MA . She grew up in Cincinnati. She took her children to minyan and provided them with excellent Jewish educations and experiences in youth groups and summer camps. She originally asked this question to her minyan.
“OUR (collective our) minyan kids, who went to day school, camp yavneh/ramah, prozdor, ( Hebrew College high school program), Israeli gap years (Year Course, Yeshiva,etc.) and have family and close friends in Israel, are well represented among the people we (not me) sometimes refer to as antisemitic.”
She amplifies the question by explaining, “Not all of our children fall into this category. Some remain staunch defenders, and we need them. Some don’t care at all, and that’s sad.
But I know there are DOZENS of very engaged former minyan kids who used to admire Israel, but now are highly critical or outright reject any association with the country they were taught to love.”
What follows is a few salient points in the discussion she and I had about the unintended consequences that may happen to our communities unless the name calling stops unless we show our children the respect they deserve as they struggle with the ambiguity of a middle east solution.
I was grateful to Missie for calling my attention to a problem which exists in every Jewish denomination. Many of our very well educated Jewish children are asking, were the high numbers of casualties and massive destruction in Gaza necessary ? They are also angry at the Israeli government for not stopping settlers from attacking Arab residents of the west bank.
Missie acknowledges many of these young people who have put a great deal of thought into their objections to current Israeli policies and still love Israel . They have passionate feelings and are moved by the ethical principles that have been taught in their religious education and by us, their parents. Some love their Judaism and their Jewish practice.
What we see and read about the middle east requires each one of us to think with deep humility about how we best protect Israel’s right to exist. Anyone who thinks they have a simple answer to the middle east morass is probably incorrect.
We both agreed we had nothing to gain by merely screaming ugly names at our children who think differently in our community . By doing this we may destroy the very community we profess to love and the families in that group. Moreover, the total discounting of their opinions allows us to avoid analyzing whether there might be a grain of truth in their thoughts.
Wars look quite different in the years following their conclusion The purification of the race no longer seems like anything but a repugnant justification by the Natzis for the extermination of millions. The rush to create powerful bombs before the Germans was a rationale both J.Robert Oppenheimer and Stanislaw Ulam, questioned after after they saw the cruel and complete destruction the atom and hydrogen bombs produced. In retrospect they felt the cost was too high. What will each of us think after th gaza ends? This question might promote conversation.
It is true many protesters are merely spouting slogans, but many of our educated children are asking profound ethical questions.We have taught them to value thoughtful action. We owe them the courtesy of hearing their reasoning and respecting them for devoting time and energy to grappling with the fog of war which happens not only in the trenches but also in the moral reasoning behind every decision. As parents and as elders we must find a way to work with these young adults. This group of educated former lovers of Israel you may not agree with, but it is incumbent on each of us to explore what they really think and to see them as allies on the fundamental issues of the right of Israel to exist. The young have good ideas too.
Missie ends her comment with a warning.
I have zero influence on Palestinians. I’m using whatever piddly influence I do have to try to get our collective “yiddishe kups” out of the sand so the next generation of world Jewry doesn’t fall apart. “
If nothing else her warning of unintended consequences is one requiring our immediate attention.