Hymie, a wealthy American, retires to England and buys a fabulous English country home with over fifty rooms. He brings in a local workman to decorate the place.
When the job is finished Hymie is delighted but soon after realizes that he’s forgotten something. There are no mezuzahs on the doors.
He immediately goes out and buys fifty kosher mezuzahs and asks the decorator to place them on the right-hand side of each door except on the bathrooms. He’s worried that the decorator won’t put them up correctly. However, the job is carried out entirely to his satisfaction and so he gives the workman an extra bonus.
As the decorator is walking out of the door he says, “Glad you’re happy with the job. By the way, I took out all the guarantees that were in those little boxes and left them on the table for you.”
From Oy! The Ultimate Book of Jewish Jokes, by David Minkoff