Bernard goes to see his rabbi. “Something terrible is happening to me, Rabbi. I must talk to you about it.”
The rabbi asks, “So what’s wrong, Bernard?” Bernard replies, “I’m sure that my wife Sarah is poisoning me.”
The rabbi is surprised by this and says to Bernard, “I’m sure you can’t be right.”
But Bernard pleads, “I’m telling you, Rabbi. I’m certain Sarah’s poisoning me and I don’t know what to do.”
The rabbi shrugs his shoulders and says, “OK, if I can talk to Sarah, I might be able to find out what’s happening. I can then let you know what I’ve discovered.”
Bernard says, “Thank you, Rabbi. What would I have done without you?”
A week later, the rabbi calls Bernard and says, “Well, I contacted Sarah — in fact I spoke to her on the phone for over three hours! Do you want my advice now?”
Bernard replies, “Yes, please Rabbi.”
“I think you should take the poison.”
From Oy! The Ultimate Book of Jewish Jokes, by David Minkoff