Judith Viorst turned 94 in February and published her latest book two months later. Its humorous title is, “Making the Best of What’s Left — When We’re too Old to Get the Chairs Reupholstered.”
I recommend this book to everyone. For those in their 80s or 90s, it will be validation of all the not-so-fun things going on in life, but all told in a very humorous fashion. For those in their 30s, 40s or 50s, it will offer insight into their grannies — and I think it will help them find a little bit of compassion too. Or actually, a whole lot. And for those in their 60s and 70s, well, it’s a preview of coming attractions. Perhaps it will give me and my fellow baby boomers an idea or two of what we should take care of now…instead of later.
If this author’s name sounds familiar, it’s because she has written scads of books in her lifetime. According to the Simon & Schuster website, there are forty titles.
I first “met” Judith Viorst in the early 1980s when my children were little and we all LOVED the kids’ books she wrote. They starred her three sons, Anthony, Nick and Alexander. The most famous one is “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.” It still lives on my bookshelf, as it does on many bookshelves worldwide. Simon & Schuster tells us it has sold more than four million copies.
I next “hung out” with the author a couple of decades later when I read her book, “Necessary Losses.” Not so humorous as her kids’ books, this one’s subtitle tells of its serious subject matter: The loves, illusions, dependencies and impossible expectations that all of us have to give up in order to grow.
It was prior to reading this book that I checked out her credentials and learned she has a B.A. in history from Rutgers University and that she graduated from the Washington Psychoanalytic Institute in 1981.
My next soiree with Judith Viorst came when I discovered her series of humorous books, one for each decade of her life. I came late to this party, discovering them when I was in my 50s or 60s, but have sought them out ever since.
All of these books are collections of poems for adults and have fun names and subtitles. They are perfect gift books for the given age group. As examples, I give you:
– “It’s Hard to Be Hip Over 30: And Other Tragedies of Married Life”
– “I’m Too Young To Be 70: And Other Delusions”
And now, I’m not sure what algorithm decided to put Judith Viorst’s latest book before my eyes, but somehow, I found my way to her newest book, “Making the Best of What’s Left.”
The opening paragraph sets the serious but light-hearted tone:
“Milton, my husband of almost sixty-three years, died in December 2022. He wasn’t supposed to die before me — I told him this was something he COULD NOT DO — but when did he listen? I write, in this book, about widowhood, but I also want to explore the challenges that I and the people I’ve talked with…have been dealing with in these years beyond age eighty, in what I’m calling the Final Fifth of Life.”
And then there are a host of funny things she says that are also a bit heartbreaking if you think about them.
– The erosion of romantic illusion inevitably accelerates as we go from man and wife to man and the person who laces his orthopedic boot and scrapes the wax from his clogged hearing aid.
– (On dating:) I don’t want some Perfect Pete or Terrific Ted. I just want my imperfect Milton to stop being dead.
– Whatever will or won’t happen to us in the Afterlife, we should try, while we’re here, to enjoy not being dead…
I’ll close with a longish quote because it has something for everyone as promised above, for the Final Fifths, the Boomers and all the rest:
“I suspect that, without half trying, we in the Final Fifth of life could manage to have our feelings hurt every day…and we could sink into self-pity…Or instead we could choose to recognize that people have busy lives, that we’re not necessarily anyone’s top priority, that the beach house is barely big enough for their family, that we’ve probably told that story — though it’s a really terrific story — several times, and that when we’re with our grandkids we’re going to feel excluded from lots of conversations, not because we’re actively being dissed (are they still saying “dissed”?) but because they’re talking too fast (and not loudly enough) about athletes and bands and devices and pop stars they don’t take the time to explain and that we never heard of. We could choose to feel overlooked, or underestimated, or patronized, or ignored. Or choose to decide that life is too short for hurt feelings.”
What a masterful statement!
It’s full of honesty, self-awareness and hard-won truths, all rolled together with a grin. It’s exactly what I hoped to hear from the wise and wonderful Judith Viorst when I picked up this book, and it’s exactly what she delivered. At age 94. Wow!
