Ina Garten hired as Israelite’s new food columnist; accidentally promotes second treyf banquet in debut column

Photo by Frank Mayne, courtesy of Flickr. 2010.

By Gittel Garnelen 

The American Israelite is keeping its founder’s legacy alive with its newest addition to their staff.

When celebrity chef Ina Garten was brought on to The Israelite staff as the new food columnist, publisher Netanel ‘Ted’ Deutsch was pleased. “We wanted to add a little pizazz to the food column, and we knew Ina could deliver.” However, no one could have predicted the  mess Ina would make upon the publication of her first column. 

Ina’s column featured recommendations for readers who wanted to make crab legs at home.

“The phones were ringing off the hook,” said Deutsch. “Most of the calls were from angry readers who insisted we should be censored for promoting treyf food. They took our paper off display at their stores. They threw them in the dumpsters behind their synagogues!” 

The controversy hearkens back to a banquet Rabbi Isaac M. Wise threw for the first ordained class of HUC students. Dubbed “The Treyfa Banquet,” the meal featured shrimp, clams, and other non-kosher items. The dinner is said to be the cause of a major rift in American Judaism and to have been the instigating factor in formation of Conservative Judaism. 

At first, the staff of the Israelite were terrified of the repercussions from Ina’s article. And, indeed, some were quite angry. 

Curiously, however, Deutsch noted that there were a few calls from readers who wanted to know if The Israelite could point them in the direction of a reputable crab seller. Those callers, who wished to remain anonymous, seemed to take The Israelite’s publication of the article as a go ahead to try a food most forbidden: crab legs. 

“We think there’s an underground community who secretly love treyf and are eating it regularly,” said Israelite bookkeeper Judith Chalfant. “After Ina’s article ran, sales went through the roof. But all the new subscribers want their paper sent to a PO Box. They want to maintain secrecy.” 

“We’re happy to see the new influx of readers,” added Deutsch. “I don’t care what they eat as long as they pay their subscription bills.” 

In order to maintain her popularity as a counter cultural food columnist for the Israelite, Ina is planning to include recipes for shrimp scampi, beef stroganoff, and the classic French entree, frog legs, in her upcoming articles.