Q: Post President Biden’s resignation, many of us are asking the question he was forced to confront. How is too old? Too old to work? Too old to be useful in the community? Too old to be President of the United States, too old to be president of a Jewish organization? Too old to negotiate a complicated hostage deal or a complicated community schism?
Running parallel to this inquiry are the questions of America’s older population: How can we continue to contribute our skills and hard won knowledge even as we age?
A. Every period of life has its advantages and disadvantages. Aging, too, is a mixed blessing — most people feel it’s better than the alternative. Some love their freedom from responsibility, but most, at least according to the Jewish Federations of North America Active Aging Survey, feel they have more to contribute and would like opportunities to spend their later years sharing the skills and wisdom they have learned.
We often hear that we live in a culture which undervalues the potential of its older members. Sometimes because they don’t look vigorous, other times because they have an infirmity, and still others because they no longer have a title and an organization behind them. Modernity has added some unique complications and opportunities to these questions. People live longer, live healthier, and can remain more engaged due to technological advancements like hearing aids, mobility devices, or cataract procedures. They want lives of meaning and purpose.
Aging has always been a fundamental part of community discourse. It is not surprising that some of our sages have been bemoaning the ravages of aging since biblical times. Ecclesiastes reads, “Appreciate your vigor in the days of your youth, before those days of sorrow come and those years arrive of which you will say, ‘I have no pleasure in them’” (Ecclesiastes 12:1). Still others in the Talmud Bavli and the Mishnah Avot characterize age as a time of wisdom and learning. “The one who learns from elders, what are they like? Like the one who eats ripe grapes and drinks aged wine” (Mishnah Avot 4:20).
President Biden says, “I’m still doing the job, I’ve accomplished a lot, and I have the skills to accomplish more.” Whether you agree with his politics or not, or whether you thought he should step down or not, you would have to agree that he, like so many of the members of our community, have had long lives in which they have developed some extraordinary insight and methods of accomplishing tasks. Like Biden, many older Americans want to continue using their talents.
The JFNA 2023 Midlife survey of both Jews and non-Jews found that 71% of respondents desired or were open to being more engaged in their communities. There was an additional finding for Jewish communities. 40% of Jews who had previously said they were “somewhat involved” in their Jewish communities had become more involved in the wake of the October 7th terrorist attacks.
When they surveyed respondents about what they wanted to get out of their Jewish communities, as one might expect, advocacy for Israel and fighting antisemitism were high on the list. However, the number one desire is for human connection and opportunities to make new friends. The top wish for what they want to give the Jewish community is knowledge and participation in meaningful local volunteer work. This data suggests that midlife and older Jews want most to foster closeness with their immediate communities.
It’s up to every Jewish community to figure out how they can create opportunities for personal interactions. Obviously, individual invitations to less-involved members go a long way, as do follow-up calls, opportunities for engagement and the ability to form new friendships. Many communities have social clubs, be they knitting groups, hiking clubs, book clubs or poker nights. Claire Helfman in Marblehead, MA puts a unique spin on this: she encourages community members to sign up for groups they’d be interested in, and then empowers them to organize, find a time to meet, and grow closer together. Anything from volunteering to pickleball tournaments to Jewish learning groups can foster friendships.
This same philosophy can apply to cross-generational friendships. Many high school students require a certain number of service hours to graduate. However, they complain that, between extracurriculars, college prep, and busy parents, they have very little time to explore volunteer opportunities to fulfill these requirements. Older members of our communities can step in here. Be it by providing organizational skills, using their connections to various service groups or just having an abundance of time, they can provide the guidance and search out the volunteer opportunities the younger generation needs.
Solutions like these are what the Active Aging Resource Network’s Network specializes in. It provides information, connections and resources through its website, convenings and research for organizations interested in developing active aging programs. One approach will not work for everyone. Some older community members, particularly those in leadership positions, are resistant to any notion of “stepping back” for fear of stepping from relevance to irrelevance. While they’ve worked incredibly hard to reach their status, it could be that their age has diminished their ability to perform their duties, or simply that the time has come to welcome younger generations into the decision-making process. Others just don’t want to stop doing impactful work.
Some are quick to decry these older leaders as “selfish,” but frequently, it is the experience and time-tested methods of age that lead to success. One past synagogue president known for building consensus was forced to step down from his board position due to ALS. Though he could no longer walk or talk, he could type, albeit slowly, using an eye-tracking device. One day, the current synagogue president paid a visit to ask for help with bringing two opposing groups together on a fundraising project. The past president replied by typing out, “Give me an hour to type out suggestions.” With patience and a desire to seek out older community members despite infirmity and age, accord was reached.
If an organization wants to honor and respect its older leaders, it requires patience, creativity, and real commitment to foster new activities of real worth to the individual and to the community. Community engagement is important, or we may lose our older members to loneliness. There is much to lose if we allow this resource to lie fallow.