Hetty, a little old lady, gets onto a crowded bus in Brooklyn Heights in the middle of a heat-wave and stands in front of a seated young girl. Holding her hand to her chest, Hetty says to the girl, “If you knew what I have, you would give me your seat.”
The girl gets up and gives the seat to Hetty. The girl then takes out a fan and starts to fan herself. Hetty looks up and says, “If you knew what I have, you would give me that fan.”
The girl gives Hetty her fan.
A short while later, Hetty gets up and says to the driver, “Stop, I want to get off here.”
The driver tells her he has to drop her at the next bus stop, not in the middle of the road. Her hand across her chest, Hetty tells the driver, “if you knew what I have, you would let me out here.”
The driver pulls over and lets Hetty out. As she’s walking out of the bus he asks, “Madam, what is it that you have?”
“Chutzpah,” Hetty replies.
From Oy! The Ultimate Book of Jewish Jokes, by David Minkoff