I do a lot of reading about the fine art of grandparenting. Even so, I always seem to run short of the ideal matriarch.
I love when experts urge us to give voice to sharing our past struggles and challenges with our grandkids so they will know that difficulties are surmountable.
I find this hard. When we are together, we are all on our phones too much — or heedlessly running from one planned activity to the next — often embroiled in our own reality.
In an effort to afford my grandkids the opportunity to know my truth — to read of my journey — I decided to compose a booklet for each of my eight grandkids as a Chanukah gift and keepsake — hoping it would introduce them to the wisdom I have gained in the last 77 years. And I am thinking that each Chanukah I will present them with another experience.
Here is an excerpt:
Dear Sophie, Benjy, Charlie, Bobbie, Lucy, Levi, Remi and Zoe, Did you ever think about trying something new? Something that scared the heck out of you?
I did and I want to share that experience with you.
Years ago, when we hit hard financial times, I went to work to supplement our income. I chose to sell insurance, AFLAC, to be precise. After passing the test to become certified to sell insurance, I then had to learn the products. I also had to figure out how to find the right person in each company to pitch to and then convince them to let me present AFLAC benefits to their workers. The next step was learning how to make presentations to the employees and learning how to use a computer to sign them up for the benefits. (Remember, this was 24 years ago.) I absolutely hated it. Suddenly I was making friends and connections, not because of the joy of it — but to sell friends and their connections a product.
So what happened? I buckled down because I had to. I studied how the top salespeople overcame objections and were able to get into businesses to pitch AFLAC products. I then, with a pit in my tummy and a heart beating wildly, approached a fairly new friend who was CFO of a huge paper making company. I was still at the point that I didn’t quite understand thoroughly the products I was selling — which added to my stressed-out mindset.
My friend actually got the permission needed for me and a team of AFLAC agents to enter the factory, hold meetings with the employees and educate them on the benefits of AFLAC products.
My team and I sold so much insurance to this one company in three days that I became AFLAC Rookie of the Year for the State of Ohio. It was a big deal. It meant I sold the most insurance of any new agent in Ohio for that time period.
But I still hated it.
So what did I do? I begged my district manager to convince the big guys in Columbus, Georgia (where AFLAC had their headquarters) that my highest and best use was to travel around the country teaching other AFLAC insurance agents how to cold call and sell. (Unbeknownst to me at the time, this was actually the start of what would be a very long and lasting motivational speaking career for me.)
I didn’t hate it as much after that. But, when out of the blue, I was offered a dream position as the editor of the Jewish newspaper in Cincinnati, I grabbed it. What had I learned? Selling was the hardest experience of my life.
What stayed with me long after I stopped working for AFLAC, though, was the self-confidence and empowerment I gained from doing something so challenging and doing it well.
That experience literally gave me proof that I could do anything I put my mind to. And that feeling has never left me — even when the going gets tough. (And in our family, my dear grandkids, when the going gets tough, we get going.)
There’s not a wimp among us.
Keep Preserving Your Bloom,
Iris Ruth Pastor
PS: I’m hoping my personal stories will teach my grandchildren valuable lessons in resilience, perseverance, problem-solving and divergent thinking. Sharing my challenges, I hope, will strengthen the bonds between us, and foster greater understanding of the role struggling plays in life and its ultimate benefits.
