Photo credit: Jewish Family Service
Surrounded by Jewish community again, Niki Eschen is thriving
Submitted by Jewish Family Service
Entering Niki Eschen’s apartment at a local retirement home, in Mason, it is immediately clear that she, at 86, has had a rich work and family life. Yet it is the story of her inner Jewish journey that is most striking. Niki, this reporter and Chaplain Miriam Karp of Jewish Family Service recently sat down to talk about that journey.
Niki’s apartment boils over with the colorful gifts of her children, her grand- and great-grandchildren and their art — a poem from her stepdaughter, a drawing from her great-granddaughter. Also prominent are her bookcases, her travel keepsakes, books and her attentive little cat Rosie. Medical gear stands ready to help someone living with Parkinson’s and severe arthritis, and still recovering from a serious stroke and colon surgery. The room is dominated by a big recliner, with piles of mail, books and notebooks all around for easy access. It’s “a literary avalanche,” laughs Niki.
The Outer Life: International, Colorful, and Full of Writers
Niki has a sharp wit and a storyteller’s rhythm, and it was delightful to hear about her adventures. Born in Brooklyn, New York, but raised in Phoenix, Arizona, she moved to California, to San Diego, where she met and married her first husband. She had their first child, and, after an amicable divorce, “I ran off to Mexico with a non-Jewish man, thirty years older than I, and we had three children, two in Mexico in Guadalajara, and then later one in Connecticut.” Her second husband was a nationally known freelance writer. John H. Reese wrote more than 40 Westerns and many short stories and articles for the “Saturday Evening Post.” Niki, herself an emerging writer, wrote a humor column and features for the “Santa Maria Times.”
How did she come to Cincinnati? Her eldest and youngest sons and their spouses were living in Dayton, and that — plus the Jewish life offered at Cedar Village — is why she moved here after living in California for many years.
The Inner Life: Missing Jewishness
Niki had missed the Jewishness of her early life. “When I was a kid in Brooklyn, both bubbies lived within walking distance. Aunts and uncles and zaydes and such, they were very involved in our lives.” Now, it’s different: “I can’t see the grandkids or the great-grand kids [she has “10 and a half” great-grandchildren] as often as I would like. Now people live well across the country or across continents from one another.”
Asked what life would be like without the Jewish engagement that Jewish Family Service offers, Niki says, “Very lonely.” She pauses. “Even though I did not actively practice Judaism for many, many years, and it became a point of tension between my husband and me — I never stopped being Jewish inside. It was an important part of my life. And then Jewish Family Service enhanced that by bringing me the things I think I particularly appreciated because I was away from them for so long.”
Asked about how Judaism works in her life now, Niki immediately says, “First of all, I absolutely adore Rabbi Simon. He’s an old soul in a young body. He’s a remarkable human being, a very unusual man. Rabbi Simon showed me that you can be a very good practicing Jew with a heart and a mind open to all kinds of people.” Both Rabbi Simon Stratford and Chaplain Miriam Karp are part of K’vod Connect, a program of Jewish Family Service, which builds community and provides spiritual support for seniors across Cincinnati.
Niki said, twice, that the support she received from Rabbi Stratford during a low time was important to her. “Last year, I had a life-threatening surgery, and he came and he made frequent visits to the hospital, providing comfort to my family and me during an uncertain time. He gave me the vidui [deathbed confession prayer] because I didn’t know if I was going to make it.”
Niki attends Shabbat services, which Rabbi Stratford leads. He is also teaching Niki Hebrew twice a week, in anticipation of an adult bat mitzvah sometime next year.
Niki said the ritual would have special meaning for her. “When I was a teenager, the Reform movement didn’t stress Hebrew. We learned the basic prayers. We followed all the holidays and everything. My mother lit candles. We learned the blessings, but they did not really emphasize Hebrew. My understanding is that in Reform congregations, they [now] start teaching Hebrew very, very young. And I think that’s good.”
Now: a rich inner and outer Jewish life
These days, Niki has a rich inner and outer Jewish life. She has Jewish programming all around through K’vod Connect. In addition to attending Shabbat services at Cedar Village, Niki participates in K’vod’s weekly Lunch & Learn series facilitated by Rabbi Simon. She also attends art and music classes made possible by the Foundation for Cincinnati Jewish Seniors.
She also has her Hebrew lessons with Rabbi Simon, and meets regularly with Chaplain Miriam Karp, who has become a true friend. We both have a “cockeyed sense of humor,” says Niki. They occasionally read Torah together and talk about personal issues or questions through a Jewish lens. “We’ve had a few spiritual-type discussions, which I felt were valuable… and we kind of like each other — I don’t want to spoil her!” Niki says, laughing and looking at Miriam.
Her children have also become more involved. “All of the kids at various times come for the Passover Seder, and they even celebrate Hanukkah on their own.”
“K’vod gave me back my Jewish life.” She looks over at Miriam in quiet acknowledgment. “I like the activities. I would say that my first favorite thing is attending services regularly. Were it not for JFS, I really wouldn’t have a Jewish life.” One can almost see the thread of trust between the two women. As Niki moves forward with her family, her writing and her health, she is clearly in good hands.
