• Confidentially Yours: Shiva schmoozing could lead to love

    March 10th, 2011 | Section: Confidentially Yours

    Dear Avi and Adele:

    I’m a 27-year-old guy, and I met a girl recently at a function. Okay, I admit it, it was at a shivah (mourning for the dead). And somewhere between the chopped liver platter and the pickled herring, I found myself locking eyes with her. I very much felt a connection, but couldn’t work up the nerve to get her number. How could I have worked the room better, or have I lost my bashert (soul mate) forever?

    Shameless after Shiva

    Dear Shameless:

    We’re surprised that a young Jewish man even has to ask the question! Everyone knows you have to do what it takes to meet your bashert before you settle for marrying someone your Aunt Sadie sets you up with. Finding love should have no boundaries, and a shiva is no exception. You’re not as shameless as you think, actually – there’s a hot new trend out there called “casseroling,” which involves singles showing up at the shivas of departed strangers and trolling for dates. We totally think that’s tacky, so we do not recommend this course of action!

    Now back to you. While at the shiva, you could have been inconspicuous by writing your number on a napkin and passing it to her with a piece of regelach. Now that it’s after the shiva, a little detective work is in order. Consider putting your family members to work to determine your girl’s identity. Simply saying, “I saw this girl at the shiva last night, with the green sweater and red hair…” should be enough to get the wheels of fate in motion. Be proud: whoever you involve in tracking down this lovely lady will kvell (swell with pride) that they were a part of your match. Who doesn’t have a little matchmaker in them?

    Just remember, as the old Yiddish saying goes: for a little love, you pay all your life (far a bisel libe batsolt men miten gantsen lebel). Make sure she’s the one!

    Livin’ and lovin’,

    Avi and Adele

    Please go to www.letmypeoplegrow.org – a blog dedicated to cultivating Jewish conversations on topics that matter, while educating, entertaining and engaging our national Jewish community.



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