Jewz in the Newz

By Nate Bloom

Contributing Columnist

A Funny Neighborhood

Watch Well, if you need a break from the Olympics, you can go out and see “The Watch,” which opens on Friday, July 27. Yes, it is about a neighborhood watch group, but it has very little in common with the tragic events (Trayvon Martin) in Florida. The premise: a group of suburban guys form a neighborhood watch group that mostly exists to provide the guys an excuse to get away from their routine and often boring home lives. The twist: they discover the existence of a space alien invasion and have to fend it off. “Watch” is directed by AKIVA SCHAEFFER, 34, a former “SNL” writer and a “BFF” of ANDY SAMBERG. The script is by SETH ROGEN, 30, and his fellow Canadian and childhood friend, EVAN GOLDBERG, 30. The “Watch” group is made up of four guys: Evan (BEN STILLER, 46), Franklin (JONAH HILL, 28), Bob (Vince Vaughn), and Jamarcus (Afro-Brit actor Richard Ayovade). Evan is the leader of the group — but he’s lead several other Watch groups that fell apart because nobody likes him. Franklin is a “cop wanabee” whose emotional problems lead the real police to reject him; and Bob mostly joins the group so he can easily spy on his teenage daughter’s dating life.

Jewish Dog Days of Summer

During the summer, media outlets are looking for some light news. So, if you want publicity, there’s no better time to break the Guinness World Record for the most expensive animal wedding. Well, the record was broken on July 12 at a swank Manhattan hotel. It isn’t quite as appalling as it sounds. You see the four legged nuptials were a benefit for the Humane Society of New York. The whole shindig would have cost $250K if the organizers were buying the goods and services “retail.” However, almost everything was donated, like the $6,000 wedding dress for the “bride,” a little dog called “Baby Hope,” and a $5,000 sushi spread. Even the wedding planner, whose last name, funnily enough, is “Katz,” threw in her services, gratis.

Seats at the wedding cost $250 and whole tables would set you back $10,000. Some celebs forked over the entrance fee, including DYLAN LAUREN, 38, a fancy candy maker and — you guessed it — the daughter of RALPH LAUREN.

The main force behind this simcah was Baby Hope’s owner, animal expert WENDY DIAMOND, 38. She has appeared on tons of TV shows. Diamond opted for the item that really got my attention: a $5,300 floral chuppah for the wedding crafted by the Waldorf-Astoria’s florist. Diamond told the NY Daily News that the chuppah was there because “Baby Hope is a Jewish dog.”

While the News article said the doggie wedding was “interfaith,” I am not sure that’s right. The “groom,” a standard poodle named Chilly, was selected via an online contest. His owner’s name is Jake Pasternak, which sounds pretty Jewish to me.

Bringing Home the Gelt

Forbes magazine is out with their list of the 20 top paid TV actresses. (Included are reality show stars who don’t technically act.) Four Jewish women are on the list. Here they are with their ranking before their name. I’ve slightly edited Forbes’ copy about them: (4) BETHENNY FRANKEL, 41: “In the past twelve months Frankel helped to expand her booze line from one product to 12, penned her first novel, ‘Skinnydipping,’ and debuted a daytime talk show, ‘Bethenny,’ in a six-week test on Fox this summer. Ratings for her Bravo reality show, ‘Bethenny Ever After’ average a strong 1 million viewers each week. Total earnings: $12 million; (15) ALYSON HANNIGAN, 38,: “The ‘How I Met Your Mother’ star had an especially profitable year. Not only did the actress take home $4 million in new episodes and syndication fees for her hit TV show; she also earned a reported $3 million for the new ‘American Pie’ movie. Total earnings: $7 million. (17) JULIANNA MARGULIES, 46,: “Her show, ‘The Good Wife,’ is a critical hit for CBS, even if it’s not pulling in top notch live ratings. The role of a scorned political wife turned litigator won her second Emmy in 2011 and earns her more than $4 million each year. Margulies also serves as a spokeswoman for L’Oreal cosmetic products. Total earnings: $6 million; (18) KYRA SEDGWICK, 46; “She won an Emmy in 2010 for starring on ‘The Closer,’ a gig that earned her $350,000 an episode in the show’s final season. The final six episodes of the series will air this summer. Total earnings: $6 million.” (Hannigan and Sedgwick are the daughters of Jewish mothers/non-Jewish fathers.)